What I See
by jedimasterathena
Summary: I mmediately after Jacen's death he is swept up by a peculiar current


What I See

Characters: Jacen Solo (Darth Caedus), other: Tenel Ka, Leia Organa Solo, mentioned only: Jaina Solo, Luke Skywalker

Summary: Immediately after Jacen's death a mysterious current takes him on a journey he will never forget.

She did it. I never knew she would. Blinded by the darkness, I couldn't see, couldn't envision what was meant to be. I'm dead. I know I am; my body lies limp and lifeless at my feet. I am fading. My spirit is being pulled, I am too weary to resist. The current carries me away, the current carries me elsewhere.

It's beautiful! This garden in which I stand. The many flowers are in bloom and the air is thick with humidity. There's someone else here. No...no, it's just me...from a different time, a different life. Jacen stops to examine a blood-colored lizard resting on a branch just beyond his reach, Caedus watches. Across the garden a redheaded figure appears. She's beautiful; the tiara perched regally upon her head. Caedus had never seen anyone so sad, as if there was no reason to live, no reason to smile.

She changes, into a young girl, the young girl the boy knew. Finally, the corners of her lips rise, her grin holding more life than the jungles of her home world. The two children run about, all cares and worries entirely forgotten in their delightful frivolity, Caedus smiles.

There was a flash of lightning behind where Caedus stood, followed by a deafening boom so loud the ground shook beneath his feet. Without being able to resist, the Sith spun around just long enough to see a shadowy figure disappearing into the flash. The rain came down.

When he faced the young boy once again, the natural light had dimmed and a thick, ominous fog had gathered around the garden. He found the boy with his back turned to Caedus; With slouching shoulders and head tilted down, as if looking at his feet. The girl was gone and the lad was left alone. Caedus could feel tears trickle down his cheek. Tears of pain, tears of understanding

The current again dragged him along entirely at its mercy. The mystical swirling anguish and he once again found himself in another forest... of a different type. Mighty trees burst out of the ground. Trees that seemed to go on skyward forever. Marveling at the power, wisdom, and strength radiating from the mighty trunks, he barely noticed the scene change until...

...the mighty woods around him burst into a tempest of flame and smoke. Those magnificent trees swallowed by hellish chaos. For what seemed an eternity the trees burned, leaving spots of light on Caedus's eyes. In the aftermath of the great inferno uneasiness seemed to settle over the woods. Smoke was rising from the ashes, the surface of everything charred and black.

In the distance came a loud warble. Caedus listened as it grew closer until the wookiee was standing next to a small lump of something that lay on the ground. The beast knelt next to the poor mound, and Caedus suddenly recognized the odor of burnt flesh and hair. Assuming the bag of fur on the ground as the body of a younger wookiee, Caedus stepped forward. Speaking in its native tongue-which was lost to Caedus- the wookiee mourned for the loss of one that was loved so dearly, loved with intensity of a Tatooine twin suns.

The image resolved and Caedus's conscience was banished into oblivion as the current carried him. When he was once again aware of his surroundings, he took a look around, he knew this place; from that life that was no longer his. There was a woman standing in the middle of a well furnished apartment on some city world he faintly remembered yet was so familiar. She spun around as if to face him, he looked into her large brown eyes. Those eyes! They looked straight into his amber irises, filled with so much grief, so much pain.

Stepping closer, Caedus saw she was holding a small holo. The image portrayed a small boy, the same dark-haired boy Caedus had seen earlier. With a start he knew who this woman was, he reached out towards her, towards life.

Only he would never reach her, the current swept him and promptly deposited him. Opening his eyes he was so stunned at his lack of words only one would come to him; Nothing. Nothing there was simply nothing around him, not even the lack of something. Feeling a hand on his shoulder the Sith turned around and his gaze was meeting by a flash of electric, jade eyes, red hair, and a somewhat troubled smile…

…Mara Jade Skywalker.

Now he knew he was dead. Caedus had killed the master in his progress to become a Sith lord. Yet, she was _smiling_; she was looking into the eyes of her murderer, the torturer of her son. Wasn't there any _anger_ in her soul? Of course not, she was a Jedi. Still, this was Mara Jade, the Mara Jade who was once the Emperor's hand, once the wife to Luke Skywalker.

He looked past her, at another apparition, one with a friendly face, one who could never feel any hatred for Jacen …

… Nelani Dinn.

The figures ceased to amaze him, for beside Nelani appeared another Jedi, one wearing the traditional robes, the one who had once worn the dark and dreary mask…

…Anakin Skywalker.

The one Jacen looked frantically for with his senses, the Force, and his heart merely wasn't there. A voice spoke from behind Jacen, a familiar voice with a tone of gratitude, and forgiveness, a tone of love. He turned to see whom he was searching for. He looked the same he always had; Jedi tunic, loose, somewhat baggy pants, dark hair well kept, blue eyes sparkling. Nearly crying out in relief, Jacen rushed as fast as his legs could carry him in this spirit world.

When he reached him the two brothers embraced and the nothingness faded into peace taking the Jedi with it.

_**We cannot give up hope for even in the darkest reaches of the galaxy there is still life, and where there is life there is light, where there is light there is love, where there is love there is HOPE.**_


End file.
